In Defense

What did English ever do to you?
Poor, broken English
battered, lying in the corner
lonely, asking why you hate it so

What did English ever do to you?
It just wanted to help you sound pretty
But no
You had to run it down, beat it with sticks
“dead horse” you say, laughing

What did English ever do to you?
You don’t even try
To sort your yours and you’res
Let alone those theirs, they’res, and theres
Smugly lazy
Do you even capitalize?

What did English ever do to you?
You can’t even manage a full word? ru and ur and u and r
Even worse, these new bastardizations
With the swag and the YOLO
Don’t you know swag’s for curtains and skirting?
You
Obviously
Lack
Originality